I am absolutely 100% jealous of the cute writing Insta-people can do. I’m not going to lie. It seems ridiculous to even say it out loud but there it is. I can sweat a pipe, hang drywall, I can even pour concrete. But I don’t do ‘cute’ things well at all.

I want to, I just rarely have the patience for it. Well, normally I don’t have the patience for it, but this time I bought a book.

Now I don’t have patience and I own a book.

It’s funny actually, on paper I can see everything wrong with them but in a picture they look much smoother. Obviously I’m tracing my way across, but they left a space to practice so the last one in the row is mine…and they’re not half bad.

Sometimes I forget that my brain defaults to ‘that is so awful!’ and I think everything I do is wrong. That’s a hard way to live, always feeling like your best effort is a failure. I think it’s important for the things like this, the things I feel like I can’t do ‘right’, to be something I’m willing to keep going back to and keep working on. I hate being wrong and feeling like a failure, so I’m not sure how this is going to go. For now I’m just going to keep reminding myself that I’m jealous of the cute writing though, because I know that if I want to stop feeling that way I have to practice. Well, that and stop that internal voice from shredding my efforts before I’m even close to replicating the style.

Why? Good question. I have no idea. Thinking about it though, sometimes you just want to know something or be able to do something just so you know you can. Nothing grand or world changing in the outcome, just doing something that matters to you for some reason simply because you can.